The Strangest Things at Hidan's Door
by N Harmonic
Summary: Hidan moved in with his boyfriend Kakuzu a month ago and almost every day of every week Hidan would answer his boyfriend's door to the most random and strangest things. Follow Hidan and see what he learns about Kakuzu's street. PLease read and review


**The Strangest things at Hidan's door**

Almost every day of every week Hidan would answer his boyfriend's door to the most random and strangest things.

**Monday**

_Ding dong._

_Ding dong_

"Hold your dang horses!" shouts Hidan and he opens the door.

Hidan gapes in disgust and tilts his head in confusion. In his front yard were two mating horses and on his porch was an old man.

"I would hold them but they're kind of busy," said the old man with a smile.

Hidan looks at the man with a 'WTF' look then slams the door in the old man's face.

"Get you and your banging horses out of our front yard!" he shouts and runs the bathroom and barfs.

**Tuesday**

_Ding dong._

"Hurry up!" shouts the visitor.

"Shut your flappin' lips!" shouts Hidan back and he opens the door.

Hidan tilts his head in a 'WTH' confusion when he sees a man and woman lip locking on his porch. The man raises his finger to indicate one minute and he continued to eat his woman's lips.

'_They're really going at it,'_ thought Hidan, _'and I don't even know them!'_

Hidan didn't move his head as he glanced at the man and saw he was sporting one. Hidan's eye twitched and he slams his door shut; he could still hear the woman's moans.

"GO HOME!" shouts Hidan. He heard the moans stop and a car driving away.

Hidan walks to kitchen shaking and clutching his head. "I don't know them and suddenly they're at my Kuzu's door enjoying a random honeymoon?" Hidan asked himself.

"My Jashin," he whispered and drank his coffee.

**Wednesday**

_Ding dong._

"Girl Scotts!" shouts a girly voice.

Hidan, who had his hand ghosted over the door knob, shuddered. He moved his hand and looked at the peep hole. Two little girls, black and white, in pink and green uniforms. Hidan slowly opens the door.

"Yes?" his voice cracked slightly.

"We're troop 14 and we're selling cookies for deformed children in Kenya," said the black girl with a smile.

Hidan instantly slams the door shut and listens as the girls talked before leaving. He did that because he and Kenya were bitter enemies. Don't ask why; it gets dirty and bloody too fast.

**Thursday**

_Ding dong._

"Does everyone like ringing Kuzu's doorbell!" shouts Hidan rudely.

Hidan opens the door and stares as a stupid boy jabbed at his door bell.

_Ding dong_

_Ding dong_

_Ding dong_

_Dinga dinga dinga dinga ding dong._

"Knock it off!" shouts Hidan and he shuts his door.

"Hey Love," said Kakuzu as he walked down stairs.

"You have messed up neighbors!" Hidan deadpanned and walked to the living room leaving Kakuzu confused.

**Friday**

_Ding dong_

Hidan sighs loudly and answers the door to find their twelve year old neighbor Tobi.

"Hidan, Hidan, Hidan, Hidan, Hidan, Hidan, Hidan," Tobi kept drawling on and Hidan groaned. "Hidan, Hidan, Hidan, Hidan. Hiiiiiiidaaaaannnn, Hidan, Hidan, Hidan."

"What!" shouts Hidan with wide eyes.

Tobi smiles. "Hi," he said.

Hidan growls and Tobi screamed and ran as Hidan chased him. They ran in circles before Hidan froze and Tobi ran into him. Hidan smirks and drags the boy to the swimming pool in the Uchiha's back yard.

"Hope this _cold_ spring air hasn't made it too bad," Hidan sneered sarcastically and throws the boy who in turns screams.

Hidan smirks before he hops the fence and returns home.

**Saturday**

_Ding dong_

Hidan groaned as he was awoken by the well-hated doorbell. He didn't want to get up because he was very tired from last night's activities. (Hint hint)

_Ding dong_

_Ding dong_

_Ding dong._

Hidan groaned and sighed dramatically before he found his boxers and walked out of the room.

_Ding dong _

_Ding dong _

_Ding dong_

"I hope you break you Jashin dammed finger!" shouts Hidan as he walked down the stairs one by one.

_Dinga dinga dinga dinga dinga ding dong_

"What!" shouts Hidan.

Deidara flinches. "Some got laid," mutters Sasori.

"We came to wish you happy birthday un," said Deidara and he held up a box of doughnuts.

Hidan looked up thoughtful. "Oh so that's why Kuzu let me top," he said.

Sasori's eye twitched and Deidara stuck his tongue out at the thought. "I could have gone through life without knowing that un," said Deidara.

Hidan just chuckles and opens the door wider so the two could walk inside. He was about to close the door when someone shouts his name.

"Happy birthday Hidan!" shouts Kisame with Itachi piggy backing on him.

Hidan smiles. "Thanks man," he said. "We got doughnuts," he said and gestured to the box in Deidara's hand.

"I'll make coffee," offered Sasori and he walks to the kitchen.

"Morning guys," said Kakuzu as he walked downstairs.

"Your butt sore?" came a voice.

"Konan?" asked Hidan to himself confused then scowled. "I'm surprised you don't have the world record of texting Deidara," said Hidan and he could hear said boy chuckling nervously.

"Come in guys," he said.

Konan walked in and Pein shook Hidan's hand then repeated the gestured with Zetsu. The three walked to the living room; Hidan looked at the door with a frown.

"Hey Zit where's your boyfriend?" asked Hidan.

Zetsu scowls. "He got a cold **after a pool plunge**," he said knowingly.

"Heh heh," Hidan smiled and rubbed his neck sheepishly. "We'll bring him a cherry filled later," I said.

"Good," said Zetsu and continued to eat a chocolate pudding filled doughnut.

"Hey there better be another one of those," said Hidan and he ran to the living room to get one.

"This is gonna be some Saturday," said Kakuzu.

**Sunday**

_Ding dong_

Hidan groaned and held his head as a major head ache came over. He and the others thought it would be fun to go to a gay bar for his birthday; in three words: He. Got. Drunk.

_Ding dong_

_Ding dong_

_Ding dong_

Hidan screamed dramatically waking Kakuzu has he run downstairs to the kitchen. Hidan grabbed a butcher's knife and ran to the door. He answered it with lightning speed.

"WHAT!" he shouts with red eyes; hiding the knife behind his back.

The visitor's eyes widen. "Maybe I should try the neighbor," he said and carefully left the porch.

"May Jashin dam you soul!" Hidan shouts and throws the knife at a tree near the man's head.

"Hidan why did- We're moving to a new neighborhood Kakuzu," Hidan interrupted.

**Three days later-New house**

"Finally," said Hidan as he snuggled into Kakuzu on the couch. "No noisy neighbors or doorbell ringers."

_Ding dong._

…

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

**How was that? It just sorta came to me and I thought why not.**


End file.
